Strength isnt something you have, its something you find.

This last week i went on the Pioneer trek for my stake and i must admit its the hardest thing I've done emotionally physically and spiritually in the longest time. I was tested and trialed a few times and i now see why the Lord does the things he does.I wasn't going to go on this trek for a few reasons I'm sure your all aware,but I'm eternally great full for the pain i felt. I feel stronger and more able to do things I'm supposed to do right now. The women's pull was the hardest thing for me to do especially after i hurt my knee but i know for a fact that i can do hard things. I was proud of myself for doing this by myself i didn't need the emotional support from the person i thought i did. I made it to the top of the hill alone. I love the Lord and the support he gives me even when i fall short or am undeserving. This weekend i became more great full for priesthood blessings and gained a deeper knowledge of the gospel.I love my 3 fountain girls so much they really helped me keep my chin up during this trek.

The Prettiest Mess You've Ever Seen

I did what i thought was "best" and now, i feel my worst. Ill admit i ha vent been Miss sunshiny at all lately but I'm now at my ultimate low. I guess it can only look up from here. I think its the little things ill miss. But i was told this was it, this is what would save me and i REALLLY need to be saved ;( From now on i want to be happy, ill try my hardest.I'm counting on the Lord this time because everything else has failed, and to be honest he's who i should have turned to first. Do not get wrong i have my best friend and couple others but right now i think he's the one who's going to turn this around.

Cali baby (:

So this last weekend i want to Cali with the infamous Walters family (yes i missed conference) and i had a wonderful time. As you all know i had never been there before so i had alot of fun. We went to sea world and the beach and the San Diego temple. It was so-oo beautiful its the only temple I've ever seen besides the mesa one so i was in complete shock and awe.I did alot of thinking on this trip and i don't have everything figured out but i think i know what i want... Ive been thinking about dropping out of school i know it sounds pathetic but I'm not sure i can handle it right now and its college i can always start again whenever i want. Idk though i don't want my dad to think I'm a failure. Other than that i don't have much news in the life of Talia other than i have ALOT of conference to catch up on (: TA TA until next timeee.

Dont you think.

That after all this time i would have things under control? I still kinda feel like my life's a huge wreck! I'm trying to salvage all the good pieces and put them together but the bad pieces are where i seem to get stuck. Its weird to me i feel like I'm on the right path one day and the next I'm completely thrown off. It not my faith that wavering its something in me and i cant grasp what it is quite yet :( I keep trying to figure out what it is that i need to do but I'm not sure i know what it is and when i do know if ill have the strength to be able to ... I really hope all of this will pass sooon because its starting to become almost impossible to deal with. On the bright side I'm going to Cali in a few hours I'm WAAAYY exited to get outta here i need a break from everyoneeee. Hopefully while I'm gone ill get a reality check of some sort? I l ove you all (you know who you are.)