What do I do?

I think my biggest challenge right now is know what im supposed to be doing. What in the world is my purpose. Ive had SO much thrown at me and i'm not sure where to go with this huge pile of things that are possibilites. I dont want to do something and not have it be what im supposed to be doing. I want to be who Heavenly Father wants me to be but im not even sure how to get to that point. I have so much on my plate right now im going to snap eventually. My biggest concern and constant thought is am I supposed to be waiting? I really wish this was just something i could know. Its such a long time to wait to see if it will really happen if its all true or not, and is that worth it?? I guess i just dont know.

Run

So i was prompted tonight to run.
I haven't gone in a long time I've been to "busy"
So i put on my running shoes grabbed my ipod and hit the pavement.
It hurt really bad at first my chest was hurting and i had been crying so my head hurt but i kept going.
Then after a few minutes with every step i felt a little better, just a little.
I kept thinking to myself " If i can make it just a little further" and before i knew it i was far away from what really hurt.
My legs hurt now and my feet are a little sore but, my heart hurts a little less.
This is the first time I've been proud of myself in a while.

So another week has come and gone. This one once again took the best of me but this time i was truly affected and i decided i no longer will allow myself to fall apart when you walk away... I love you still, with everything in me. I want to spend forever with you but in this time that we're apart whether its permanent or not i NEEED to take care of myself and reach the goals that i have set, i need to go to the temple and do work for my family i need to pass school an find the old me that i no longer am. I will never be fully healed and that's ok, because i have all those perfect memories. After all, you made me grow you completed me in ways no one will ever understand or be able to experience... I love you with a love that not many get to feel. I hope you find what your looking for and don't forget me while you do it, I'll be waiting but not forever.

Its been a while since Ive wrote anything in my blog. I have started college full time and i must say its a love hate relationship. I'm working full time again as well as school so i have been so ridiculously busy... I haven't really had much time for anyone or anything lately its kinda upsetting!! I think that by Halloween i should be in my own apartment! If everything works out the way it should i willl be (: I finally got my car as well its a cute purple thing that has a few problems but it gets me where i wanna go. I realised today how much i miss being little, i miss being carefree and just going day to day without a single thing to worry about. I wish that i could go back to that sometimes, i suppose you could say I'm homesick. Well i will write more laterr. Homework time :/