Lifes been a blur.

I haven't posted anything in a while because i have not known what to say, life's taken a turn on me lately and it has taken the best of me. I'm sorry if i have offended or hurt anyone in the last month or so. Sometimes i get so wrapped up in the bad i forget to see the light and i know that's one of my main flaws... I'm so thankful for my girls who hold me up when i cant do it for myself. Mae, i love you till the end of eternity, thank you for letting me cry and talking to me all night because the pain keeps me awake you'll always have the biggest part of my heart. You make me realize my life's worth living. I wish i could be as strong as you, i wish i could see the things you do and i know that's why Heavenly Father placed me with you. Emily, i don't even know how to describe to you how amazing i find you, i must say you found me at my lowest point and you never seem to care and I'm so thankful for that I'm not sure how I'll ever repay you. Your one of the sweetest girls I've ever met and i pray you wont ever change, i love you. I'm thank full for all the young women in our ward and I'm truly heartbroken to be going to relief society i have the biggest testimony of you girls and I'm not sure what its going to be like not being with you all the time. You all have the light in Christ in you and it makes me feel so loved to walk in a room and everyone drops what their doing to hug me. I know you girls will have trials and afflictions in life but i promise you that if you pray to Heavenly father, read your scriptures, and keep your faith strong you will make it. You girls keep me going strong and I'm not sure id have the testimony i do without you. I'm starting school soon (the 24th) and I'm a little nervous and I'm not sure how I'll do but we will see i suppose.I have finally started working and i truly love my job i love working with these beautiful children. Bryan, what we are doing is one of the hardest things in the world for me but i think that in the end it will strengthen us and we will have an even better relationship than we do now it just so hard to not feel scared or have struggles with it. I don't want you to ever forget the love i have for you and i pray for you to know that i always will, don't give up i wish i could be like you, your not scared of anything at all. I wish you could see the amazing boy i get to see everyday, i wish i could be as good to you as you are to me. I know my love is true because when I'm without you its hard to breath. Dad, I'm not really sure what happened to us but it breaks my heart whether i tell you or not i miss you so much and for the first time in my life I'm homesick. I just want you to understand me, i want you to be proud and its hard when you dislike so many of my beliefs, I get on my knees and pray for you every night of my life, and i love you for how much you strive to have a wonderful life. Your the best dad and i know your intentions are for the best. Well i guess thats all till next time(: